Re-Humanizing Communication: Embracing Vulnerability in a Digital Age

Much of this course comes down to one extremely important feature of humanity: our vulnerability and the important role it plays in our lives. Technology has enabled us to avoid vulnerability altogether and it turns out, that pulling this brick out of the foundation of what makes us human has left us dehumanized.

We all know what vulnerability is–a feeling or state of being exposed–and it’s often perceived as being open to attack or harm. From this reductive view, it’s no wonder we work so hard to avoid it. We think of it as pure weakness. But from a communicative standpoint, we look at vulnerability as an openness to others and ourselves; open to our own thoughts and feelings and others’ thoughts and feelings.

As a communication expert, I don’t believe vulnerability is harmful in any way because I know it to be a superpower. In fact, I encourage my students and clients to lean into vulnerability as often as possible. Why? Vulnerability helps us work through tough thoughts, feel the feelings (good and bad), and truly listen to others and understand their perspectives. It helps us to feel and deal with whatever is going on. It makes us resilient. It makes us a better leader. And no, embracing vulnerability does not mean you have to cry all the time.

Embracing vulnerability is about understanding and articulating WHY we think what we think, feel how we feel, believe what we believe, and do what we do. But most of us, don’t know the why behind our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, so we act impulsively. That is exactly what tech supports. Without the why, we’re triggered to respond quickly, chasing the goal of likes, shares, or retweets, and getting a quick but meaningless hormonal hit of dopamine. The lizard part of our brain simply sees these notifications as possible threats or opportunities, and we don’t give our brain the time to think critically, which requires vulnerability.

That ability to be vulnerable and think through opportunities and threats and how they make us and others feel is what separates us from every other living thing, throughout history. We have the luxury of being able to pause, think, and then react, as we’re not merely operating on instinct. We have the ability to consider emotions and the result of acting on them and the constant invasion of tech in our lives has entirely muted this beautiful feature of our humanity.

Unlike any other species, we possess complex and deeply nuanced languages to help us understand emotions. We’re able to name and label experiences, articulate them in myriad ways, and use inference, implication, and experience to contextualize what we experience. We don’t just see love or fear or anger, for example, we see and hear symbols that represent them, and we give them meaning. Our minds evolved to uncover meaning in what and how we communicate and it does this best when we embrace vulnerability.

None of this can happen if we aren’t willing to open ourselves up to the complexity (the why) of our thoughts and emotions. It’s through vulnerability that we learn about ourselves and others, and build empathy and connection, and it’s through these connections that we learn who we are and help us solve the world’s most complex problems. We’ve all become under-practiced at critically thinking and critically feeling, resulting in a lack of empathy at home and work.

Consider these questions: when you show up at a restaurant to meet a friend and you arrive first, what do you do? Do you chat with a stranger, do you sit in your own thoughts and think, or do you whip out your phone and start scrolling? Hell, some of you probably sit in your car scrolling until you know your friend has arrived, so you don’t have to connect with strangers or sit in your thoughts.

Why are we doing this? We feel vulnerable when we’re sitting there alone and it’s easier to scroll through TikTok than it is to sit in our thoughts and let our minds wander. We do this literally everywhere: at home, in airports, on public transportation, in bars, and at other people’s homes. We can’t know ourselves deeply if we don’t sit in our thoughts and feelings (good and bad) and embrace vulnerability. We have a device in our pockets at all times that enables us to avoid or numb any uneasy feeling or thought.

But it’s more than what we’re dodging in just ourselves, it’s what this allows us to avoid in other people: their vulnerability. Without seeing and connecting with theirs, we’re robbing ourselves of the chance to practice empathy with others. It causes us to stop caring. And before you think that we can’t go through life bleeding empathy, remember it’s much simpler than becoming embroiled in a deep conversation about a stranger’s struggles. We miss the opportunity to simply make eye contact, which is the easiest and most natural expression of our humanity. It says ‘I see you’.

No wonder it has gotten so hard to go to work or make a call rather than text. Tech has created the option to avoid human interaction and personal thought at any time and any place stunting vulnerability and empathy. So my question for you is this: if you’re not comfortable with your own vulnerability, are you really going to have that difficult conversation with a co-worker or friend? And if you do, will you do it well? Chances are, the answer is no.

Dr. Michael Burns is a professor, trainer, consultant, and coach passionate about human communication. With a Ph.D. in the field, he blends academic research with practical experience to help people and organizations improve their communication skills—key for success in all areas of life.

He loves bringing the classroom to the industry and has worked with companies and people worldwide. As the founder of Burns Learning, he collaborates with diverse leaders to re-humanize their businesses and lives through impactful communication skills.

Dr. Burns continues his love for teaching by leading courses for our new Lupa Career Accelerator program, supporting Latin American professionals in their search for better job opportunities in the U.S.